The Jekyllbury Tales: Mac golf hits the links in Georgia

By Tyler Hanck

Last week’s training trip to Jekyll Island, Ga., gave the men’s and women’s golf teams a chance to prepare for the upcoming season, to compete against top Division III teams from across the United States in the Jekyll Island Collegiate Invitational, and to see quite a few alligators. Grace Caird ’13 led the women’s team with a three-day tournament score of 263, while Matt Butler ’12 led the men’s players with a three-day total of 245. The women will open their spring season at the St. Thomas Invitational Apr. 16-17. The men follow suit with the Gustavus Bobby Krig Invitational Apr. 17-18.

Contributing writer and golfer Tyler Hanck ’13 recaps the Spring Break trip for TMW below:

In the witching hours of Mar. 14, nine Mac golfers embarked for Jekyll Island, Georgia. Nick Santrach ’11 was the Miller. Madeline Arbisi ’14 was the Wife Of Bath. Caitlin Opperman ’12 was the Prioress. Matt Caminiti ’13 was the Clerk. Matt Butler ’12 was the Host. Lora Hlavsa ’13 was the Shipman. Grace Caird ’13 was the Friar. Kelso Brasunas ’14 was the Manciple. I was the great narrator, Chaucer himself.

The Friar had a bit of snafu at the airport. She accidentally left her five-gallon tub of lotion in her carry-on bag. The TSA found it less funny than we did. The Clerk proclaimed her, ” the biggest national security threat in the MIAC.”

The Miller did as the Miller does.

The Prioress took her first step towards Macalester history by participating in the initial stage of the 2011 Jeopardy College Tournament. Despite a distraction from the Miller, she managed to concentrate her focus for the 50 question written exam.

The Shipman abandoned Facebook for Lent, but put her geography skills to use while playing Sporcle. Eventually, she could rattle off all the countries in the world. If only she could navigate her way around the hazards on the golf course.

The Clerk quoted Nietsche, “Was aus Liebe getan wird, geschieht immer jenseits von Gut und B”se,” and the Wife of Bath agreed. Over dinner one evening, he explained the history of the tuxedo. Despite the Manciple’s best efforts to stump him, the Clerk named the then president after being prompted only by the date.

The Host mediated many a heated dispute between the Shipman and I after a disagreement about categorizing Quidditch as a sport. He along with the Prioress cooked the team’s meals and kept us in line. I was scolded for flossing my teeth at the dinner table, despite my long winded protest in perfect iambic pentameter. Chaucer knew healthy gums were the foundation of a healthy life.

Along the way we played some golf, watched and quoted Superbad line for line, named constellations in the night’s sky, swam among the jelly fish in the ocean, scratched bug bites, sipped ginger ale, and fought Type II diabetes by walking several miles along the beach each afternoon. Sun burnt noses and blistered feet, we competed against the top players and teams in Division III golf and fared well. We look forward to a successful spring campaign, and take comfort in the fact the Jekyll is waiting for us, only 356 days away.