T.O. and Kelly

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Separated at Birth? Yesterday, the city of St. Paul and the Philadelphia Eagles unceremoniously dropped Randy Kelly and Terrell Owens, respectively. For both men, their eminent departures are attributed to their lack of loyalty to the organizations that supported them. Kelly, a Democrat, was lambasted for his support of President Bush, and went down in flames at the polls Tuesday, but didn’t regret his decision.

“My great strength is my greatest weakness, that is my tenacity,” Kelly said in Wednesday’s St. Paul Pioneer Press. “I come at everything with a sense of urgency. I will do whatever I can to make something happen.”

Owens, on the other hand, was sent packing because of a series of comments disrespecting the Eagles and his teammates. The final straw occurred last week, when Owens again fought his own party– criticizing quarterback/party chair Donovan McNabb, and fighting with former teammate Hugh Douglass.

“The mentality that I have, my greatest strength can also be my greatest weakness,” Owens said at a recent press conference held in the cozy confines of his driveway. “I’m a fighter, I’ll always be. I fight for what I think is right.”

Unfortunately for Kelly and Owens, doing the right' thing means they'll have plenty of time to work on a book together, tentatively titled, "When Your Greatest Strength is a Weakness: You're Shit Outta Luck."<br /><br /> The Nation Divided:<br /><br /> The nation divided just a little more over the last couple of weeks. On the progressive home front, there is some good news from the world of sports. WNBA and Olympic star Sheryl Swoopes came out of the closet, openly declaring herself to be a lesbian.<br /><br /> The story has been more or less ignored by some sports pundits who, like John Ryan of the San Jose Mercury News, argue, "Let's face it: On the list of shocking sports headlines,WNBA player gay’ falls somewhere between Romo took steroids' andSteinbrenner is angry.'” We can only hope that Swoopes’ declaration allows more athletes to come out and encourages more people to be accepting.

In baseball, Kim Ng, an assistant general manager (GM) with the Los Angeles Dodgers, is a front-runner for the team’s top GM spot. If Ng gets the job, she would become baseball’s first female GM. If she can lead the Dodgers back to a winning season and their first World Series title since 1988, Ng will hit a home run for equality everywhere.

In other news, the Kansas State Board of Education voted to allow science standards that criticize evolution and encourage intelligent design, and Texas (where Swoopes’ Houston Comets play) voted to ban gay marriage. So I guess we’re all going to hell anyway.

Can We Hire Them?

Two cheerleaders for the NFL’s Carolina Panthers were arrested last week after police were called to a Tampa area bar to deal with the women. The cheerleaders allegedly had sex in a bathroom stall, and one of them punched another patron who had complained about the long wait in line. One of the women then gave police a fake ID (a fugitive arrest warrant has now been issued for her).

The cheerleaders have been fired from the Panther’s squad for violating a signed agreement that bars conduct embarrassing to the team.

When told about the women’s behavior, several members of the Minnesota Vikings expressed interest in the Vikings hiring the two. Reports emerged several weeks ago that Vikings players had strippers fly in for a houseboat party on Lake Minnetonka that degenerated into a sex-fest. By bringing the two former Panthers cheerleaders to Minnesota, Vikings players hoped to save themselves money, and encourage others to “buy local.