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The Mac Weekly

The Student News Site of Macalester College

The Mac Weekly

The Student News Site of Macalester College

The Mac Weekly

Resist long-distance relationships. Like ice cream.

By Elias Tezapsidas

Life is hard, love is hard, but maintaining a love life from a distance is a true challenge. The scenario: You are in St. Paul, and your significant other is across the state, across the country, or in some cases, across the world.Yes, you were lucky enough to meet that special someone to share your H„agen-Dazs with, but before you swore your true love for this person, you had already committed to bettering your education (read: your parents had already written Macalester a check).

Yes, love is like ice cream-it tastes good while you’re eating it, but a few hours later, you’re craving more. And despite being in the tundra that is Minnesota and not with your beau, you can’t help but want another spoonful of that strawberry cheesecake ice cream you enjoyed with your special someone each day over the summer.

Sometimes, however, your preferred flavor isn’t easy to get your hands on. What happens when the absence of the sacred butterscotch ice cream that you love so much lives too far away for you to get at?

More importantly, what happens if the lack of that special pint (or, who are we kidding, gallon tub) has you starting to look at other options in the freezer section?

Although I don’t have the perfect solution to containing your cravings when it’s late at night and you need a study break, I can offer some options that might help curb your appetite.

1. Sticking by your “flavor.” The traditional “truthfully, faithfully yours” version of a long distance relationship is always a choice for those who believe that they have tested enough “ice cream” to know that they’ve found the best. Tacky? Perhaps, but nevertheless this alternative seems to work for some people. No matter the distance, they just can’t get the taste of that special flavor of ice cream out of their mouths.

This scenario is most common among young, naive romantics who have little experience with different flavors (aka first years). However, at this point in the semester, with the weather getting colder, many star-crossed lovers learn that they aren’t interested in ice cream anymore but want something warmer to cozy up to. One of the pair usually realizes he/she wants to experiment with new flavors, or perhaps wants to branch out into the arena of hot cocoa. If that person is the one at Macalester, his/her partner feels happy and safe because no threat can exist for him/her in this school. But if it’s your significant other who is feeling the need to do a little taste-testing, it might be best to wait until summer before you try ice cream again.

2. Free samples. The guilt of wanting to sample a little of everything, and the effort to get rid of that guilt, is what leads us to the second situation common among distance relationships. The “as long as I don’t know” version works in cases where the couple wishes to remain “together” but without any real commitment while they are apart (per Facebook, an “open relationship”). This is a more stress-free style of long distance dating that allows you to test out multiple flavors, while keeping your favorite pint of Rocky Road in the freezer. And who knows, you might even find a new preferred flavor during the school year that tastes better than what you were eating over the summer.

The basic point in this case is that a separated couple continues to be together, but yields to their cravings for other desserts while apart from their significant “flavor.” In this scenario, it is best to be honest about the situation; counterfeit promises should not be made.

3. Taking a break. This is always an option, especially when the stress of school and new surroundings is added to the mix. We all have needs, so why suffer? What is love when we are not able to touch?

Why settle for the fat-free, low-calorie sherbet when the Double Chocolate Peanut Butter Haagen-Dazs, or at least some AmeriCone Dream Ben & Jerry’s, is available here and now?

These options, which might seem rather dire, are important to consider. Some long-distance relationships do work, but the key to keeping ice cream buddy around is the word “work.”

Relationship experts claim that communication is crucial to a successful relationship, and, as anyone who has had experience with long distance relationships can tell you, they are absolutely right.

So yes, although with long-distance relationships you might not be able to eat that ice cream the moment you’re craving it, just remember that after you haven’t taste something in a while, the next time you do, it tastes all the sweeter.

And if you’re sick of dreaming about your pint in your freezer back home, you can always sample some of the unique flavors that Macalester has to offer.

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    David ReidSep 7, 2019 at 5:56 am

    Thankyou for all your efforts that you have put in this. very interesting information.