Javachick125? Bewitched155? Do I revert to these old usernames from middle school or do I go with something more subtle for my OkCupid account username? Also, what descriptors should I use? Curious? City girl? Outdoorsy? According to a questionnaire my housemate took for me, my three words are: defervescent, astute and thaumaturgic. Wtf? Those are not sexy words; I don’t even know what most of them mean.

But it seems that everyone is trending toward the internet for relationship answers recently. I often find friends, tucked into a corner of the library on a Thursday night, on sites such as the Mac Missed Connections Tumblr, the Mac Sex Tumblr and, of course, Facebook.

For those of you unfamiliar with these anonymous Tumblr sites, let me fill you in. Their posts range from the the complimentary “glasses, pretty dresses and them adorable bangs. sophomore lady, you are such a cutie!” to the sad “I don’t know how to be your friend anymore,” to the ironic and hilarious “Mhmmm. That older gentleman with the gray hair at the entrance of the Café Mac. You are on my wish list,” and posts that are altogether disturbing. (All quotations thanks to anonymous Macalester internet users.)

But one post I saw seemed to pinpoint a Macalester sentiment that I think many people feel: “Boy, stop looking at me like you want me if you’re not gonna do anything about it.” And herein lies the problem with trying to find love (or sex) on the internet.

Hasn’t Facebook sucked all of the fun out of learning about your crush in person? I do not want to learn what music he likes on Facebook. I’d rather be in his room studying with him and perusing his iTunes or asking him over coffee. With the exception of the men I met while abroad, who lived on entirely different continents, there is no one who I am better off stalking on Facebook than talking to in person.

I am as much a fan of the internet as the next Millennial—more democratic knowledge, more citizen journalism, even an occasional viral YouTube video with a sneezing cat—but why are we turning over our social lives, and thus our love lives, to the internet?

I love my computer and, quite honestly, spend too much time on it. However, I do not think my computer is any more capable of knowing what I consider relationship material than I am. Needless to say, I gave up on that OkCupid account.

As I was writing this article, I received an email from a group called MacLovin’ which promised matchmaking based on the Macalester individuals you might have crushes on. While the sentiment of a matchmaking group is not one I disagree with, I think the more important question is why we are so dependent on the internet to answer our relationship woes. There are many Macalester (and non-Macalester) students out there who would be flattered if you approached them in person.

Even the website, LikeALittle, has been put to rest (the phenomena that struck during the Winter Exams ’10, for those of you too young to have been at Macalester). So Macalester, it’s time to log off of Facebook, turn off your computer and get out of your dorm room. Relationships start in the real world, and to find one, you need to get out there.

The answer to dating concerns at Macalester resides in new places, and I don’t mean Kagin Dances. Maybe start volunteering somewhere new or trying a different activity like Yoga Club (shameless plug for my student org). And here’s the most important point: once you get there, talk to people that you don’t already know. Is this as easy as sitting on your computer in your dorm room? Of course not. But then again, where are the butterflies in that?