By Sarah Krumholz

Whales store pounds and pounds of blubber in preparation for winter, why can’t we? Gaining a winter coat is essential to surviving the cold winter months that are approaching. Not only will you avoid buying the extra fleece to accompany your down jacket, but you’ll have the constant comfort of the extra base layer built in. Slip on the ice-you bounce back. Need an extra pillow-use your arm. Flying home for winter break-rest on the comfort of your extra chin. At that angle, carbo-bloating, alcho-loading and sugarcoating will only lead to a squishy and enjoyable winter. As Paula Dean says, a stick of butter never hurts.

This road to roundness can easily be achieved with an extra helping of pumpkin cake at Café Mac or a bi-daily trip to bread smith, but why not take advantage of this caloric opportunity. Whether in the confines of a dorm room or within your own kitchen there are endless prospects to glut and gorge your hearts out in both a creative and entertaining manner.

I mean this isn’t the ten pounds you accidentally put on with too many helpings of curly fries; this is strategic, practical weight. Thus, planning each meal, beverage, snack, dessert and second dessert is imperative. Therefore, to get you started, here are some hidden secrets to use on your trail to tub.

The Ultimate French Toast Sandwich:

This is a meal, easily accomplished in Café Mac, is a variation of one created by my neighbor. It may not look like the most appetizing meal, but appearance is clearly not the goal of this article.

Take two eggs over medium, a side of harsh browns, pieces of bacon, cheese and two slices of French toast. Mix the eggs and cheese into the hash browns, break up the bacon and mix it in as well. Put the concoction on top of one piece of French toast and top it with the other. Cover in syrup.

Eat as you would a sandwich. Napkins will be a necessity, as people will stare.

Chotato Chips:

This one is easy and creates the perfect combination of sweet and salty. Just dip Ruffles potato chips in chocolate and let cool in the fridge. Easy and Delish.

Spanglish Sandwich:

The looks of this sandwich is the only excuse for sitting through the movie, and assuming Adam Sandler was able to eat it, the only excuse for his participation in it. Take two pieces of bread, a fried egg, a slice of cheese, four slices of bacon, tomato and lettuce. Combine into a sandwich and eat slowly.

Snowmore:

What is winter without s’mores? However, classic s’mores really don’t provide the necessary indulgence.

Take two s’mores pop tarts, four snowman peeps, Reese’s peanut butter cups, a Hershey’s bar and chocolate sauce. Layer the peeps, Reese’s peanut butter cups and Hershey’s bar between the S’mores Pop Tarts. Stick in the microwave for 35 seconds.

Use chocolate sauce for the final touch. These s’mores will leave you yelling sNOwMore after you’re done

Frosty Noggin:

It may be necessary to cloud things up a bit in order to justify this imperative weight gain. Therefore, frostin’ the noggin could be a great way to drink your health away.
Served in a Parfait Glass, you want to blend 1 and oz of Rum, _ oz. CrŠme de Cacao, 3 oz. of Egg Nog, and 3 cups of vanilla ice cream until smooth and topped with whipped cream.

This drink will help you forget what will be a spring wake-up call around March. However, until then enjoy these delinquent delicacies so that as the degrees drop, the effects of the donuts do not.