First year, first critiques

By Hannah Zeeb

College. Am I saying it right…C..ol…lege? Okay wait, I think I got it. Ehm… college should be different than high school. Am I right? As a first year I expect college to be ten hundred and two times better. But then why am I sitting here still imagining myself in high school? Why do I wake up panicked in cold sweat screaming about my missing number two pencil? Well…let’s think about this for a second. High school. Macalester. High school. Macalester. I guess high school had cliques. Macalester also has cliques. I know you’re a little surprised just try to contain yourself. Look at the cafeteria tables. You can find the jocks, stuck-up girls, international kids, and druggies all at their designated tables. Every clique that was in high school thankfully is still represented. I don’t know what I would do without them. And here I was thinking that Macalester was an “international” and “multicultural” school. To me it just seems like they released two thousand exotic and rare animals into a 53-acre plot of land. But then every animal skittered back into his or her designated cage with their tails between their legs. The college expects us to get along, to learn from one another, to be a community. I expect something out of us. So beepin’ get out of your cages, it’s ridiculous. I need new friends. The Macalester so-called community is one that I cannot describe in a half page article as a first year. I do not know if I become apart of it or if it forcefully becomes apart of me. Will I start to steal food from Café Mac because I want to or because I cannot stop my hands from shoving it in my pockets and bag? Will I want to go to Kagin for only a minute then run away or will my legs just lead me there? Will I suddenly wake up with a cigarette in mouth (hopefully not), large sweater on, and those weird hiking sandals on my feet? Macalester College may just have a mind of its own and I am scared. This community is full of wannabe-hipster-hipsters. I keep asking myself if I want to be a wannabe-hipster-hipster. And I still don’t know. To put it nicely, in high school I hated everyone. No one had any common sense. But now at Macalester I think I have gone the opposite way from finding people with common sense. Everyone here is crazy. Stupid kids find it fun to party, drink and have sex all the time, but wait, that’s pretty much any college. Macalester is crazy because kids are able to party, get nasty, and still get an A in a class. Isn’t anyone tired around here? Seriously, partying three nights in a row and with a test on Monday. This is ridiculous. We need to have a day where we just nap…besides Sunday. Let’s just make Wednesday mandatory nap day. But besides the Macalester energy high, I’m getting a real sense of “what the hell” moments. If you open the door the wrong way…crap…what the hell? If your alarm doesn’t wake you and then show up to your class twenty minutes late…oh… what the hell? If you have a huge exam tomorrow but you are in no way prepared…screw it…what the hell? I feel the need to just what the hell this article…oh article…what the hell? Maybe it is not the place where we sit in the cafeteria (I have in fact spent many hours alone) but the high-on-energy calendars, studying, an easy phrase and…partying that brings the cliques together that then form the Macalester community. Seriously, enough with this nonstop partying, my dorm hall reeked of puke all weekend. For those 12 individuals who have made it this far to the end in my article, thank you. And to everyone else…happy hellin’. refresh –>