By William Kennedy

The Mac Weekly Sports section has some ideas about how Mac can live up to its proud tradition of sticking it to “the man” in a whole new place.

We at Mac Weekly Sports know that our beloved Macalester College has a student body with a reputation for sticking it to “the man.” Whether protesting a political outrage, getting really super incredibly high…for peace, or eluding Harold with a crate of fresh cafeteria oranges in hand, Mac students will stick it to that man whenever they get the chance. While sometimes annoying, we believe this tradition makes Macalester great. Our fear and subsequent reason for writing this article is that with finals imminent and summer fast approaching, the zeal with which students stuck it to the man earlier this year may wane. So, just when you thought you were burnt out and that you couldn’t possible stick it to the man one more time this year, we are here for you with a list of convenient and outdoorsy ways to show the man what you really think of him.

Railroad Bridge

A historic railroad bridge held together by rust and graffiti crosses the Mississippi to the north of campus. From Summit, head north on river road for about two miles and you’ll find it.

Cross the bridge and you’ll be able to see through the planks down to the river. If you’re afraid of heights the experience is traumatic, but the view of the Minneapolis skyline and the path of the river to the south is worth it. As an added bonus, the sense of relief you get after hopping off makes you feel really glad to be alive. Some of the planks are thin or charred, but the thing seems stable, and only the super-thin need worry about falling through the cracks.

We called the cops and supposedly it’s not officially illegal to be out on the bridge, but we got the strong impression that they would prefer it if people didn’t go on it—so take that, man!

Drinking by the river monument

Everyone knows that Mac students enjoy the occasional drink at a party or alone in their room, but perhaps you’d like a change of location. Walk west to the end of Summit and enjoy a cool evening breeze with a cold one. The atmosphere is pleasant, the river is beautiful and the monument is pointy. Who knows, you may run across some high-school kids and you can revel in the remembrance of youth and enjoy the camaraderie of your joint insubordination. Don’t get your hopes up too high for this last possibility: high-school kids are usually douche bags.

Camping down by the river

Several notable Macalester students tipped us off to this possibility. Take a tent and a sleeping bag with some of your friends and head south on Snelling until you cross West 7th Street. You’ll end up at Crosby Park, a heavily wooded area with two small lakes, bordered by the Mississippi river. The soil is soft and sand like and there are several caves in which you can pitch a tent for the night. If caves aren’t your thing, then fallen trees provide the perfect material for making some sort of rudimentary hut under which to sleep. One Mac student, recalling his night of camping described his experience as, “totally sweet.” Please note that this activity is forbidden, and just as English immigrant Thomas Crosby didn’t want any yokels camping out on his 160 acre land plot in 1858, the St. Paul police, a.k.a. the man, don’t want you there now.

Good luck in your endeavors Mac students, and keep on doing what you do best.

Despite writing about the above-mentioned activities in a fun and engaging way that will make you want to go out and do them right now, The Mac Weekly does not endorse illegal behavior in any way, shape, or form.