The Student News Site of Macalester College

The Mac Weekly

The Student News Site of Macalester College

The Mac Weekly

The Student News Site of Macalester College

The Mac Weekly

Ask Alice

By Alice Anigacz

What do I do if I’m sore down there after sex?If you really think it could be a disease or infection, get it checked out. You wouldn’t want to risk losing that bed-rocking action just because your gyne-box is hurting too much.

Otherwise, thank the Lord that somebody who can put you in that state wants to get with you. In the words of William Faulkner, “Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain.”

What do I do if I find out that there are naked pictures of me on the internet?

You are probably horrified, thinking that life as you know it is over. Actually, this is probably the only time an opportunity as great as this will just fall into your lap.

This is the beginning of the best part time job you have ever had. Now you can replace those humiliating hours doling out food to your classmates in Café Mac with just a few minutes in front of the webcam.

If you don’t want to devote any extra time to your budding pornography career, you can invest in a waterproof camera and just snap a few shots as you shower.

If you are incapable of continuing this career that some other entrepreneur luckily started for you, then you may want to track down this brilliant being or find a new coworker and strike a deal (50:50?) so that all you have to do is provide the images.
The key to this whole enterprise, though, is to make sure that the photos of yourself that you found on the internet were not just some cruel joke. Are you really that hot?

If I like someone should I shave my pubic hair into the shape of their initials and then show it to them?

Totally. It’s A.A., by the way.

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