An open letter to the guy that starts the standing ovation:

By Joseph Houlihan

Let me start by saying that I’m onto you. I know all about your plan. I know, for example, that you were going to stand up no matter the circumstances of the performance. You, my friend, are too easily wowed. It seems a nice gesture to leap to your feet, but you walk a tight rope. I am, in fact, afraid that the very sanctity of the seated audience is violated by your continued ventures into the standing room. You could have stood in the back; you needn’t have sat in front of me. But alack, there you sat, and stood, twice, once at each curtain.