2Chainz is just like the rest of us. He gets hungry. And when 2Chainz get hungry, he puts on his Versace apron and gets down to business. Now, with the release of B.O.A.T.S 2: #Me Time Deluxe, 2Chainz is reaching into his deep flavorful pockets and bringing his bomb-ass cooking to the masses. His new cookbook, #Meal Time, is a culinary masterwork.

We tried some of 2Chainz’ recipes and did our best to follow them to the letter (except for the one with Fergie, she never called us back).

First, we made “Me Time” Sauce, the centerpiece of the book. 2Chainz has very specific instructions on this front.

“Me Time” Sauce

Old Bay Seasoning

4 Tablespoons Mayonnaise

1 Teaspoon Dijon Mustard

2 Tablespoons BBQ Sauce

Lemon Juice

“Go to the mall, spend a handful of racks on a new outfit for the night,” it reads.

Unfortunately we were not able to spend a “handful of racks” due to being college students. Marian spent about one rack while I was reduced to simply spending stacks. Marian’s sauce tasted much better because she followed the recipe more closely.

“Get a manicure and a pedicure”

We got matching chainz on our nails as a homage to the man who made this all possible.

“Spend some more “Me Time” at the house, catching up on old seasons of the Wire”

2Chainz understands that “a man must have a code”.

“When done, mix all ingredients and sprinkle Old Bay seasoning.”

2Chainz formulated these recipes on a tour bus going 70 mph so these aren’t exact measurements.

“Stir until you reach a rich, deep pinkish color.”

We played “I do it” as we did it.

“Add ‘extra’ BBQ sauce if desired.

We went a little crazy here. But 2Chainz advises you to “embrace mistakes” and we learned a valuable lesson.

This next recipe is for when you want to have an intimate night with your boo. Your #Meal Time is best spent with that special someone. And 2Chainz.

Beer-Steamed Snow Crab Legs

3 Pounds Snow Crab Legs

22 Ounces Cheap Beer

1 Lemon

½ Stick Butter

Olive Oil

Old Bay Seasoning

Garlic Powder

“Turn the lights down and light some candles.”

2Chainz understands classy dining.

“Set the mood by playing ‘So we can live.’”

This song perfectly sums up the complicated yet beautiful nature of relationships in our patriarchal society.

“Once the vibe is right, add snow crab legs to a large stock pot.”

We had to make a special trip to grab the legs.

“Pour the cheapest beer in the supermarket over the crab legs”

We did not have to make a special trip for this.

“Add juice of 1 lemon and put lemon in the pot when finished. Season with Old Bay and garlic powder”

However much you want. Just do you.

“Bring the pot to a boil and cover if possible.”

Turned out to be impossible. Still turned out okay.

“Let crab legs steam for 6 minutes”

“So we can live” will end during this step. May we suggest “U Da Realest” as your next song?

“Light some more candles and meditate. The vibe is so important to this dish that it is worth spending extra time to get it just right.”

Always give #Meal Time the respect it deserve. Never cut it short.

“Turn legs, then steam for an additional 5 minutes”

You’ll need to change songs again. “Live and Learn (It Will)” should get you in the right headspace.

“Serve with melted butter and/or “Me Time” sauce”

For the health conscious out there, 2Chainz recommends subbing in olive oil because of its higher smoke point. 2Chainz is nothing if not accommodating.

We were ready to dismiss this cookbook out of hand as a joke. And it is. As you saw in the two examples above, 2Chainz fills his recipes with absurd steps that have nothing to do with the meal. The thing is 2Chainz is way more knowledgeable about cooking than you might expect. The meals are mostly relatively simple, inexpensive, and high quality. His passion shines through all the jokes as well. For 2Chainz, it seems like cooking is a spiritual experience. In the introduction, 2Chainz says that expressing himself in food is the same to him as expressing himself in rap. He wants these recipes to be a starting point for you to start free-styling in your own cooking. The recipes ask you to reflect on your life and be grateful for all the good times, good people, and good food that it contains. We definitely recommend you grab B.O.A.T.S 2, put on your Versace apron, start playing “Hit it with a Fork” at an ignorant level, and celebrate #Meal Time with some good friends.