By Hannah Wydeven

Dear Hannah,
It seems like hookups are a norm at Mac, and that everyone is okay with it. I’m not, and neither are a lot of girls I’ve talked to. Many of them hope to get something out of a hook-up but don’t, so they end up disappointed. Do you think guys feel this way too? Or do they just want to “get some” and then proceed to break our hearts?
-Hung Up On Hook-upsIt sounds like you have been hurt in the past HUH, but don’t let those previous experiences dictate how you approach your future hook-ups. The standard that men are always just trying to “get some” is not a generalization that you should live your life by. Not all men are dogs, and each of them approaches a hook-up situation differently, just like women. Some men you meet may be interested in a one-time deal, but many of them may be interested in taking it further, or don’t know what they want to do about it until after it’s over. It’s the same with women. Granted, there are men and women who want the random hook-up and they don’t want it to go any further, but those are easy enough to avoid if you want to.

It sounds to me like you are wishing to meet some man at a party who will whisk you away to his bedroom, pleasure you all night and then ask you to be his girlfriend in the morning. Keep dreaming. You can’t expect these things to just happen to you, HUH, you have to be in charge of your own hook up destiny, and it sounds like your friends could use the same advice.

If you want to avoid the one time hook-up, the most important thing to remember is this: do not get drunk. If you get drunk and you hook-up with someone, you are going to wind up being “heartbroken” the next morning (and if you’re unlucky, laden with venereal disease). If this has happened to you before, drinking is probably the catalyst. No one is known for their ability to pick the good ones when they’re under the influence, that’s not how it works. You should also avoid getting with anyone who you have just met that night. Going home with someone the first night won’t get the message across that you’re serious about finding a committed relationship. If you do hook-up with someone on the first night of meeting them, don’t have sex with them, because then you’re really sending the wrong signals. It’s better to hook-up with a friend, or someone who you know, so that they know what they’re getting into by taking you home.

You’re lucky that at Mac you know at least a little bit about almost everyone you are going to encounter, especially anyone you would consider hooking up with. Take advantage of that and go for guys who you know don’t have an excess of notches on the old belt. Most importantly, once you choose the man you want to sleep with, take some control over the situation. You’re not a dainty flower, HUH, you need to stand up for yourself and let a guy know what to expect when he hooks up with you. If you don’t want a one-nighter, make that clear to him from the get go so neither of you have false expectations. There are plenty of men who will tell you right away what they want. If someone says to you, “Let’s just make this fun,” don’t kid yourself, HUH, he only wants your booty. Learn to read the signals and be in charge of your hook ups and you’ll have a better chance of avoiding the heartbreak of the morning after.

Dear Hannah,
How can you tell when a girl is faking an orgasm?
-O Detective

I hate to burst your bubble, but no, you can’t tell when a girl is faking an orgasm. Unless your girlfriend has screaming, pulsing orgasms that shake her to the core, it is easy for most women to feign pleasure. In fact, we as women are born with an inherent sense for how to fake it. Even a woman who can’t act her way out of a paper bag can give fake a moan with the best of them. Haven’t you ever seen “When Harry Met Sally?”

A Note on Testicular Self Exams:

Tomorrow is the “Protect Your Balls” dodgeball tournament sponsored by Health and Wellness, and I thought I would take a moment to stress the importance of self-exams. Men’s health is often swept under the carpet, but it is as important to take care of your balls as any of the rest of your body. Testicular cancer is most common among men in their teenage years up until their forties, but is especially prevalent among men in their mid-twenties, so now is the time to be proactive in protecting the family jewels. It also has the highest cure rate among all cancers, with 90 to 100 percent of testicular cancer patients receiving successful treatment.
So, please remember to check your balls at least once a month. If you don’t know how, you can request informational materials through an Anonymous Safer Sex Kit, or you can just look online. A great site to try is tcrc.acor.org. Men and women: check your balls and your breasts and be active in your health.