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The Mac Weekly

The Student News Site of Macalester College

The Mac Weekly

The Student News Site of Macalester College

The Mac Weekly

What I learned in Bed

By Hannah Wydeven

Dear Hannah,
I have a really hard time reaching orgasm and I want to increase my sex drive. Are there any foods, herbal supplements, or prescription drugs that can help me?
– Seeking an Orgasm

There are certain aphrodisiac foods that have been touted as increasing your sex drive: chocolate, oysters, onions, strawberries, etc. Some plants have been given the same credit, including gingko biloba, yellow vine, or horny goat weed (stop laughing). I’m sure you could find a long list of these foods on Wikipedia. However, eating aphrodisiacs will not increase your sex drive over the long term, and might not even make the slightest difference. Prescription drugs aren’t something you should turn to either, SO, unless your situation becomes particularly desperate, what you need to do is exercise, eat well, get plenty of sleep and masturbate. All of these things will increase your energy and subsequently increase your sex drive.

Depression might also be a cause for low sex drive. People who suffer from depression often find it more difficult to orgasm. If you have problems with depression, this might be linked to your difficulties. On the flip side, some prescription medications for depression, birth control, anxiety and a number of other things can decrease your sex drive. If you’re on a medication and you had a noticeable decrease in your libido, you should talk to your doctor about it.

-If you’re still having trouble reaching orgasm, be patient with yourself and do some more self-exploration before you turn to other methods.

Dear Hannah,
Since I’ve come to Mac, I’ve had my eye on a guy I see around campus. To my delight, I had a class with him and found him brilliant, funny and even better-looking up close. I feel every time we speak or make eye contact there is more than just an academic connection.

So what’s getting in my way? I’ll tell you. He was my professor. My friends disapprove, but just because he has a different title in front of his name doesn’t mean we aren’t human beings. I wouldn’t write you if my actions wouldn’t be reciprocated. So, what exactly should those actions be, and how can we stay out of trouble?
– Risqué Relationship

RR, you are a saucy minx! It’s completely normal that you want to get in your professor’s pants, as he likely has the intellect and maturity that you have struggled to find in men your own age. Though it may seem mutual, it may not be. You might be feeling caught up in your attraction to him, and take simple gestures of kindness as something more. Try to view your relationship objectively and determine whether your professor is really trying to sleep with you or if they are trying to help you pass an upcoming exam.

Have you spent time together socially? Does he invite you to do things not related to his classes? Does he ever touch you-as in, gentle physical flirtations? Is he married? These are all questions you need to be asking yourself. Be realistic, not delusional about the connection between the two of you.

The student handbook says the following on the subject: “Relationships between a faculty member and a student or between a supervisor and employee should be considered ones of professional and client in which the initiation of sexual relationships is inappropriate and unethical. The power differential inherent in faculty/student and supervisor/employee relationships compromises the subordinate’s ability to freely decide.” So, as you can see, it is not technically against the rules for you to get frisky with your professor, but it is very much frowned upon.

It sounds like this professor no longer has any control over your academic career, so this policy doesn’t necessarily apply to you. However, you need to make sure that you never interact with your professor in an academic manner after you initiate your relationship. So, don’t ask him to write you a recommendation, now that he knows your intellectual and sexual prowess.

If your heartthrob shows clear signs of having mutual feelings for you, then you should share how you feel about him. Don’t do it in his school office, but let him know you want to start seeing him in a more sexual/romantic/erotic or whatever way you desire. Talk to him like you would any other person you are interested in. If he doesn’t feel the same way, take it with grace and move on, don’t try to sabotage him a la “Rushmore.” If he wants you back, then go with it-you’re an adult.

Also, if you end up sexing it up with your professor, don’t run around telling all of your friends. By doing that you are putting your professor’s career at serious risk. Especially if you suggest that the professor initiated the contact or pressured you into it. Discretion is key in this situation, unless you want your bedmate to lose his job for inappropriate behavior. Just because the books don’t explicitly state that he will be fired, doesn’t mean that it can’t happen. Don’t forget, your reputation as a student will also be in jeopardy if you end up in this type of relationship, especially in our small community.

The pressure of secrecy can be hard on any relationship, and that is going to be stressful for you until graduation.

Finally, be aware of the power dynamics present in your relationship. A big age difference puts different pressures on a relationship that are important to recognize. Also, the fact that you are a student and he is a– teacher means that there are other dynamics to contend with. As the student, you are much more vulnerable and there is a higher potential for coercion, whether it be direct or through academic power. However, if you are aware of these possibilities, you’re more likely to be able to recognize or prevent them.

Most relationships of this nature don’t really turn out that well-but that doesn’t mean that yours won’t. Just be mature and intelligent about it.

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    Jonathan NashSep 6, 2019 at 5:30 pm

    Nice respond in return of this issue with genuine arguments and describing the whole thing on the topic of that.