What I learned in bed

By Hannah Wydeven

Dear Hannah,
Say you ask someone out, and have a really bad date or they turn you down. Then, because this is Macalester, you still have to see them all over campus. What’s the best way to handle this without being totally awkward?
Lonely in the Library

That’s a great question and one that should be asked more often. If you are facing the ever-so-common failed date or a rejection, LIL, let me praise you for making the first move. You swallowed your pride, collected your confidence and took the leap-congratulations! If your potential lover rejected your advances, there are some important things you can learn. Primarily, it most likely has nothing to do with whether or not you are a cool cat. Your dream date probably has a host of other reasons that he/she isn’t interested in a romantic rendezvous with you.

Put worries about how they see you aside. Whether you’re a debonair sophisticate or a bumbling goof, your crush probably thought that it was gutsy of you to ask them out. That act alone demands respect.

Now comes the tricky part. How are you supposed to act once you’ve broken the romantic barrier? If you did the asking, then it’s your job not to be awkward the next time you see him/her. They probably think they shattered your dreams of love. By talking to them and acting friendly, you show that you won’t be knocked out of the game by one silly rejection. I’m not saying you have to pretend it never happened. If you feel comfortable enough, acknowledge that it doesn’t change your friendship. If you weren’t friends before, then don’t even stress over the rejection. No harm done. Just strut your sassy self right on by with a sexy swagger like you know you’ve got it.

If you were successful in your pursuit but the date was a flop, then be honest and kind with your not-so-charming friend. Don’t come up with a lame excuse- say you don’t think it’s going to work. Finding out who fits with wonderful you is the point of dating. Also, just because you weren’t meant to be together in the romantic world, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy each other as friends.

Remember, LIL, things like this are only awkward if you make them awkward, so be your regular awesome self around your friend and they will do the same. Dear Hannah,
Every year when seniors graduate, the already tiny puddle that is the Macalester dating pool gets a little smaller. Most women prefer to date older men, so what’s a senior girl to do? We’ve been brainwashed into speaking in “-ism”s that 1% of the world understands, what are the chances of having something work out with a non-Mac alum?
Cynically Single Senior

CSS, if you are only interested in older men, you might be facing some serious issues trying to date at Mac. However, if you are open to new things, you might find the younger generations offer some surprisingly great picks.

If you feel like being a cougar, you could rob the 1990’s cradle and go for the first-years. You’re hot stuff simply because you are as old as they get in Macalester world, so work your magic and find some young thing whom you can train to be your sexy boy love.

If you’re concerned about differences in maturity level, then you might be out of luck on this one, CSS. There are a few good picks at this school under the age of 21 who have a similar maturity level to a senior woman, but unfortunately for you, most of them are taken. But, if you’re open to the idea of a lesser class ranking, you will definitely increase your likelihood of finding a date.

If younger men aren’t your thing, then your best bet is to get off campus. Surely one of 50,000 sexy bodies at the U of M could trip your trigger. If you are worried about intellectual differences, put your pretension aside. Just because someone doesn’t go to Mac doesn’t mean they are dumber than you. Also, people connect on a much deeper level than the -ism’s they learned in class.

Trust me, there are some serious hunks elsewhere in this city and they are just begging you to ask them out. Some great places to scout for men of all sorts are the downtown Minneapolis library, First Ave (Too Much Love, a band you like), Dinkytown (Kitty Kat Club, Starlight Coffee)-the list goes on. Check out City Pages or Vita.mn for other ideas.

So, CSS, if you’re thinking inside the bubble, try being a little more open to what the younger men at Mac have to offer you. But if you’re still lonely, burst the campus bubble and feast your eyes on the hotness that the Twin Cities have to offer.

Have questions? SPO Hannah Wydeven or email [email protected]