The Arts on the arts (entertainment)

By Amy Shaunette

Celebrities are crazy. John Mayer is even crazier.John Mayer is no newcomer to the blogosphere. The annoying, albeit talented, singer-guitarist has been embarrassing himself by revealing his unsolicited thoughts on his blog since 2006. He’s bitched about paparazzi attention, announced his musical plans, and posted birthday poems for his sound engineer. John Mayer’s blog never ceases to entertain. But this week he’s truly outdone himself by posting photos of his meals. His reasoning? “Americans are celebrity obsessed, and that obsession shows no signs of stopping. So in an effort to stay on the cutting edge of digital technology and pop culture, I’ve decided to make the most personal facet of my life public. My meals.”

First of all, I really don’t think his meals are the most personal part of his life. Personally, I’d rather know what went on between him and Jessica Simpson behind closed doors, but maybe I’m just twisted. In any case, does the world really need to see John Mayer’s French fries and duck shepherd’s pie? This coming from the man who wrote “Waiting On the World to Change,” a musical plea for the end of political apathy? Amusing, but monumentally stupid. What’s more, Mayer’s idea isn’t even original. In 2005, young adult author Tucker Shaw published a book called “Everything I Ate: A Year In the Life of My Mouth,” a collection of photos of every single thing he ate in the year 2004. That’s interesting. John Mayer’s waffles? Not so much.

But Mayer disagrees. “If I’m correct, America-no, the world-will want to see this,” he writes. He goes on to say that he would make his blog a pay site since millions of people would pay to see his food (his assumption, not mine), but he loves his fans too much to charge per view. He also stamped each photo with a copyright watermark to prevent illegal media publication, claiming, “The tabloids and entertainment news shows will froth at the mouth, wanting to grant this unprecedented level of access to the world….”

Well, John, you’re right. I’m frothing. I’m drooling with excitement over the proof you’ve just given me of your immense ego. You’re like Bono on acid. Soon they’ll make a John Mayer iPod, and it will come with free photos of your food already uploaded!

After two days of posting unappetizing photos, Mayer seems to have called it quits in favor of classier blog topics. Recently a video of two girls eating feces titled “2 Girls, 1 Cup,” has created quite the storm on the Internet, and Mayer and his buddies filmed a parody, “2 Guys, 1 Cup,” in which he and comedian Sherrod Small passionately feed each other frozen yogurt. Compelling stuff.

It’s official. John Mayer is the new Zach Braff, with the conceit and the blog to prove it.

Tyra Banks goes where no talk show has gone before.

The supermodel-turned-TV-mogul isn’t exactly respected for her morning talk show, “Tyra,” on which Ms. Banks tackles subjects geared toward women, such as racial issues, body image and how to identify fake designer bags. Her banter usually ends in out-of-control antics. On one episode, Tyra, along with the entire audience, strips down to her underwear for a “panty party,” while another features Tyra rolling on the floor screaming about the wondrous cosmetic benefits of Vaseline (each audience member received a crystal-encrusted tub of Vaseline worth $100). She’s gone undercover in a fat suit and as a stripper, interviewed prostitutes and inmates, and told the tabloids to kiss her “fat ass” (look it up on YouTube).

But Tyra has truly turned heads with the vagina episode. Yes, she did a vagina episode. It aired Monday, Nov. 5, to the joy of immature media critics (such as myself) who laugh whenever the word “vagina” is uttered. While Internet clips are scarce, there is one gem that features a woman with a velvety vagina puppet. Essentially, it’s a stuffed animal minus the animal and plus some plush pink flesh. The puppet was used to demystify the female anatomy once and for all as Tyra encouraged women to sit down with a mirror and explore themselves. She said to People magazine, “I have wanted to do this show for two years. I know for a lot of women talking about what is going on in our bodies is extremely difficult, but it is incredibly important.” She hopes that after the episode airs, women won’t “be ashamed about what’s up down there.” The only thing I took away from the show is this question: Where can I get one of those puppets?