By Amy Shaunette

Every year, MTV airs the Video Music Awards, giving Moon Man trophies to the best musical acts of the year, or in my opinion, the best of the worst. The VMAs are the awards show for the money makin’, booty shakin’, record breaking Top 40 hits of the year. The award show gives little thought to music outside of the Total Request Live playlist. Still, it’s a favorite event of celebrities and music enthusiasts alike. Luckily, The Mac Weekly is here to guide you through this year’s so-called winners.Monster Single of the Year: Rihanna ft. Jay-Z “Umbrella”

Undeniable. Although of the all the nominees, I think Shop Boyz’s “Party Like A Rockstar” has a lot more staying power. Numerous Mac Weekly staffers would throw themselves infront of a train for the sake of “Umbrella,” but “Party Like A Rockstar” is an instant party classic for those bros and hos who truly believe they party just like rockstars.

Quadruple Threat of the Year: Justin Timberlake

Isn’t he last year’s news? Wasn’t SexyBack a thing of 2006? In any case, JT is unstoppable, but Kanye should have won just to avoid his backstage meltdown. Bro’s got feelings.

Best Collaboration: Beyonce ft. Shakira “Beautiful Liar”

I can’t understand how this won over songs like Gwen Stefani’s “Sweet Escape” and Justin Timberlake’s “SexyBack.” I would say anything Beyonce does is utterly forgettable, while Gwen Stefani has mastered the art of the musical collaboration. But I guess it is MTV, and music you can shake your booty too usually comes out on top.

Male Artist of the Year: Justin Timberlake

Sure why not? Hey Kanye, just like you said, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. You’ll show those MTV haters.

Female Artist of the Year: Fergie

What? Fergie? Fergie who titles her songs “Fergalicious” and “My Humps?” It amazes me that such fluff can beat talented acts like Amy Winehouse, and I don’t even like Winehouse.

Best Group: Fall Out Boy

The fact that Peter Bjorn and John were at least nominated is pretty cool. Or wait, are we still in that phase when seeing bands you like on MTV is a very, very bad thing? I’m ready to outgrow that selfish musical narcissism and congratulate PB&J for getting some of the recognition they deserve. As for Fall Out Boy, all I can say is seeing them do so well breaks my heart just as much as front man Pete Wentz’s must have been broken to warrant all that black hair dye.

Best New Artist: Gym Class Heroes

Whatever, it would have been too hard to decide between Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse, anyways. Plus, if Amy won, Lily would have written more manic blog posts about her depression and self-esteem issues, and if Lily won, Amy would have nursed her disappointment with a crack pipe and some heroin, so fine, Gym Class Hereos can have it.

Video of the Year: Rihanna ft. Jay-Z “Umbrella”

Kanye should have cleaned up because the video for “Stronger” isn’t just Kanye-it’s got Daft Punk. Kanye looks hot, Daft Punk looks classically robotic, and there’s those cool sunglasses. What was MTV thinking? The “Umbrella” video just shows Rihanna striking slutty model poses, video hos, and weird splashes of liquid reminiscent of O-Town’s “Liquid Dreams” video. Umbrella as props paired with constant rain in a video for a song called “Umbrella?” Yeah, that’s groundbreaking.

Best Choreography: Justin Timberlake “My Love”

Not much to say. JT reigns supreme as the king of dancing. And I like the way his jacket flaps around in the wind in the video. The backup dancers were sweet too. It looked like a promiscuous Gap commercial, and Gap’s done some great commercials. Tell JT Mac Weekly will be his love any day.

Best Direction: Justin Timberlake “What Goes Around.Comes Around”

I’m no music video expert, but what the hell is this? Is it a movie? A short film? Why are they wearing 1920’s clothes and driving souped-up sports cars? What’s with all the dialogue scenes, the fight scene, and Scarlet Johansson shouting, “You don’t know me!” like guests on Jerry Springer? Director Samuel Bayer’s filmography is impressive, but this video is a joke.

Best Editing: Gnarls Barkley “Smiley Faces”

Yeah, that was a cool video. And let’s be honest, who cares about the Best Editing category, besides the editors?