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The Mac Weekly

Sandwiches, sex and sass: 'Ten Inch Hero' reviewed

By Tatiana Craine

I hate romantic comedies with a dying passion.Oddly enough, there’s something that keeps pulling me towards the mystical Realm of Rom-Com. It could be the fact that I’m of the female persuasion. Or it’s due to my youthful fantasies that love could work out like a Disney fairytale (even if it is in a land far, far away). Or maybe romantic comedies are something cathartic to wash away those memories of rejection and loss from maybe not-so-special someones. Whatever the reason is, I find myself loving and hating this cliché-as-hell genre.

Romantic comedies thrive on a plot formula. Boy meets girl (or vice versa) and they’re put into a compromising situation. One (or both) of them have a secret to divulge or an obstacle to overcome before they can fully give themselves over to their Mr. (or Mrs.) Right. Ninety minutes later, after ridiculous and mostly stupid antics, they realize they were meant for each other all along. The end. Kiss, kiss. Hug, hug. Feel good.

It’s dumb.

Everything happens the same way every time. You know what’s coming. It’s predictable as a skinny Japanese boy winning a hot-dog contest. There might be doubt along the way, but in the end, you know that nobody can scarf down sausages better than that boy and that Mr. and Mrs. Right are supposed to be together forever.

It’s rare that I see a romantic comedy that tickles my girlish fancy. But tonight I found something in “Ten Inch Hero” that rubbed me the right way. It’s about five people in a sandwich shop trying to find love. I didn’t read the synopsis before I started watching the movie because I, like you might have, thought it might be about porn stars finding love through their spandex-clad, radioactive super power-possessing alter egos. I couldn’t wait to watch that. Then the film started and there was some blonde chick looking for a job and there were no supplely bouncing bosoms to be seen. First clue against porn being a key player in this movie. Second clue-reading what it was about after the first fifteen minutes. (I think I just wanted this to be another “Zack and Miri Make a Porno.”)

I almost stopped watching, but something made me stick around. Maybe it was Sean Patrick Flanery’s surprisingly good looks (considering his age) or Jensen Ackles’ chameleon-like Mohawk. But I think what happened was that I actually started to care about what happened to the characters. I realized I knew all of these people in my own life, at least a facet of their personalities and traits. I was surprised, intrigued and endeared-and ended up watching the full ninety-plus minutes.

What this movie had going for it, more than its sometimes absurd plot progression, was the characterization. As in any romantic comedy, the characters are vaguely multi-dimensional and relatively stereotypical-but it works here. The sandwich shop is run by a middle-aged hippie who employs a cute computer-nerdess, a vampy beach girl, an all-American artist, and a sarcastic punk. They’ve all got either secrets or insecurities, but they’re always there for each other. (If I had a work environment as casual, relaxed and friendly as theirs, I might not want to shoot myself in the head every time I step into work.)

There’s not a lot to say for the plot except that friendly banter back and forth between the characters in the sandwich shop drives the story along and gives meaningful bits of background. While this approach works for the film, at times it does feel a bit sophomoric. (But when it’s a movie called “Ten Inch Hero,” I really shouldn’t expect anything more.) Walks on the beach, an estrogen-pumped road-trip, and a hilarious convenience-store run for tampons break up the sandwich shop scenes nicely.

However, I don’t want to undercut the passionate parts of the movie by talking about characterization. What’s a romantic comedy with well-developed characters and no action? There’s sex, romance, love-all that good stuff. There are a few sex scenes (so, yes-there are indeed supplely bouncing bosoms about) and a few lovely little kisses. For fear of giving anything away, that’s all I’ll say on the matter.

In the end, let’s face it. It’s a romantic comedy. Things work themselves out, albeit a little bit unorthodox. (Riding naked on horseback is all I’ll say.) And though the conclusion isn’t surprising or ground-breaking, it’s good. It’s what you get when you make this type of movie with indie-cred aspirations (and a bunch of private donations). Breaking the rom-com mold, “Ten Inch Hero” didn’t have to try hard to be witty or funny. There was a definite balance between romance, hilarity and story, making the film well worth my time.

After watching most romantic comedies, I’m left with a sour taste in my mouth. However, this one left me pretty satisfied. (I’m still not so sure about the title, but the film’s tagline is pretty catchy: A new film about love, sex and sandwiches sold by the inch.) “Ten Inch Hero,” being an indie, wasn’t really been released in the United States since its production wrap in 2007-save for a few film festival appearances. However, the film was just released by Blockbuster Video. So if you’re hungry for something that will leave you with a full heart-go for the “Ten Inch Hero.

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    Brandon ForsythSep 11, 2019 at 3:58 am

    I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I’m no longer positive whether this publish is written via him as no one else know such precise about my trouble. You’re wonderful! Thank you!

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    Luke RandallSep 5, 2019 at 3:15 am

    I could not refrain from commenting. Exceptionally well written!