Hot served atop a bed of Not

By Katherine Tylevich

Hot: Steve Jobs

Not: Steve Homeless

Hot: Shoulder pads

Not: Shoulders

Hot: Meow Mix

Not: Dead Cat Mix

Hot: Beefeater Gin

Not: Beefeater Beef

Hot: Carp Diem: Seize the day

Not: Carp Diem: Seize the fish

Hot: Silence of the Lambs

Not: Silence of the Himalayan Goat. We want our cashmere capri-pant shipment to come in on time this summer, okay?

Hot: Corn on the cob

Not: Corn on the cactus

Hot: Listening to personal needs

Not: Helping the needy. You stress yourself out too much as it is. Take some time to open a soup kitchen of “me days” and “soaking in the tub” and “eating bon bons” becuase “school is so ha-ard.”

Hot: Chicken Soup for the Soul

Not: Chicken Kiev for the Arteries