Fill a bath with cold water! You're about to overheat!

By Katherine Tylevich

HOT: Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott coming out with a new album

NOT: Uncle Francis “Felony” Walters coming out of the state penitentiary

HOT: Chairman Mao

NOT: Chairman Meowth, the Communist PokAcman

HOT: All you can eat breadsticks and salad

NOT: All you can excrete laxatives

HOT: Pretty, pretty princess

NOT: Ugly, ugly stenographer

HOT: Jelly Donuts

NOT: Beef Donuts

HOT: Moses

NOT: Mo’ Pharaohs, Mo’ Problems

HOT: Waving your hands in the a-ir, like you just don’t c-are

NOT: Washing your hands times three, like you got O.C.D.

HOT: Old Country Buffet

NOT: Old Country Buffet being infested by immigrants and their “New Country” quirks

HOT: Cavity searches (kinky!)

NOT: Cavities (what are you a baby? Brush your teeth.)

HOT: Puppies

NOT: New-born humans. Ew.

HOT: Tu-Pac tellin’ it like it is

NOT: 12-Pack makin’ “like it is” more tolerable, one vomit at a time

HOT: Rollerblades

NOT: Feet