Election 2012 // The best of Twitter

By Naomi Guttman

National events may have varying causes and consequences, but one thing is always certain: no matter what is going on, however big or small, the Twittersphere will have something to say about it. Along with your standard-issue “Go Romney!” and “Go Obama!” tweets, here are some of the best, brightest, and snarkiest of November 6th’s posts under the #election feed. Please note that these tweets were not collected with any political bias in mind; they simply presented themselves as such. Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman In Massachusetts I got to vote in favor of suicide and marijuana. The ballot was like the track list of a Black Sabbath album. [email protected] This election is giving me hot flashes and I’m not even a woman #mrsdoubtfire Jessica [email protected]h F the election there’s a new sons of anarchy on wuddderrrrppp B) Alex Ray* @The_X_Ray If Mitt Romney wins the election, I volunteer as tribute for the Hunger Games Rob [email protected] I got a scholarship to the electoral college Amy [email protected] It’s the vodka and pickles time of election night. Dave [email protected] Romney 19, Obama 3. The election is basically an NBA game. No point in paying attention to the score until the final 2 minutes. JENNA MARBLES! @ItsJennaMarbles Election night drinking game: If Romney wins, drink until dead. Jess Bowen @thejessset Moving to the Philippines if this election doesn’t go the way I hope. [email protected] election night drinking game: if romney wins drink nonstop for the next four years [email protected] if canada wins the election i’m moving to mitt romney [email protected] Xbox >>>> election [email protected] US Election Night Drinking Game: If Mitt Romney wins, drink. Constantly. For the next 4 years. You’ll need it. #election2012 Norris [email protected]_Not I’m sorry but if Romney wins the election I hope Kanye interrups like “I’m sorry but y’all great and that but Obama should have won” SNCK PCK @SNCKPCK I WANA SEE THE LOSER OF THE ELECTION GET SLIMED ON NICKELODEON AND THEN GET LAUNCHED IN2 SPACE. WELL BOTH OF THEM ACTUALLY Alec [email protected]_boogie14 Is Election Day today? I can’t tell based on people’s tweets. Donald J. [email protected] Lets fight like hell and stop this digusting injustice! The world is laughing at us. Rakim [email protected] Pornhub to take my mind off this election ..bbl Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome Make sure you get out there and VOTE today! Then enjoy your orange juice and cookie… wait! Did I just give blood by mistake? Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker We’re now at the part of the election that feels like watching a really long pregnancy test. Lissa [email protected]_Monroe Here’s a fun drinking game for election night: if romney wins we take shots until we die. Patrick J. [email protected] Awesome. CNN is airing American Gladiators reruns … Oh that’s the election. My bad. Tu-Anh [email protected] Don’t know why y’all are surprised. I mean, Honey Boo Boo endorsed Obama. Romney should have written his concession speech then. #election Dan Risen @DankahRisen If Romney wins I’m staying in Japan. Like, no joke my family is going to move to Canada and I’ll probably be teaching English here in Tokyo. Barak [email protected] Someone needs to get a soundbyte from Clint Eastwood. #election Jack Mulligan. @JackMulligann If Romney wins the election you know Kanye will step up and save the day JAMES [email protected]_ I’m sorry but if Romney wins the election I hope Kanye interrups like “I’m sorry but y’all great and that but Obama should have won” Cody [email protected] #Halo4 > the election Adam [email protected] That’s what happens when you fuck with Sesame Street. David [email protected]_Cameron Congratulations to my friend @BarackObama. Look forward to continuing to work together.