Do it in the dark, baby: this is war!

By Taylor Uggla

Want to show those other liberals who’s really boss? Follow these easy tips for a pathway to success.

Turn off those lights. Next week’s theme is Do It in the Dark. Apply this to Valentine’s Day as needed.

Want to be the hottest one on the beach for Spring Break? Take the stairs instead of the elevator. If you live in Dupre, you will have the added benefit of not smelling the elevator.

Save water by taking cooler and shorter showers. (For double the fun, just shower with someone else.)
Brighten up your room and gain solar heat by opening those drabby curtains. This will gain more and more efficiency as we ease out of this frigid death trap we call winter, I promise.

Unplug your appliances when you aren’t using them. If you’re like me and spilled juice all over your mouse, it will be even easier to keep that computer shut off.

Turn those old beer cans into lightbulb energy. According to MacCARES, recycling just one saves enough to run a regular bulb for ten hours.
Shiver at night? Put on a sweatshirt or get another blanket. If you’re feeling really racy, try spooning.

For those of you who suffer from a room that is too hot, try turning down the heat. If your heater smells as bad as mine did freshman year, you might just want to turn it off entirely. (This also works for classrooms if enough people complain.)
Wash your clothes in cold water, and try to air dry instead of using the dryer. Your delicates will thank you, and you’ll no longer have to deal with the jerk who puts your stuff in a giant wrinkly pile while it’s still damp.