By Leah Brown

Harvard University
IVY—Harvard students now have another option when it comes to finding someone to do their laundry for them.

In addition to the not-for-profit Harvard Student Agencies Cleaners, the College will allow the student-run cleaning company DormAid to act as an alternative laundry service, The Harvard Crimson reports.

With this service, students can have their clothes cleaned, pressed and delivered directly to them for about an additional $60 per week.

DormAid—with the advertising slogan “Empowering the next generation”—will also clean your room for you.

Because, as the next generation, we are just so empowered that we can’t wash our own socks and empty our own garbage cans.

In other Harvard news, Keegan Toci, a wide receiver on the college’s football team, was recently cut from the team after the traditional Skit Night, at which he performed a skit deemed offensive by Harvard coach Tim Murphy.
Although the details of the skit are not known to the public, Murphy, speaking to The Boston Globe, called it “a mean-spirited attack on the training staff, coaching staff, players, strength coaches and Harvard University in general.”
Still, at least 20 of the team’s 110 players voiced their opposition to Toci’s dismissal, noting that other skits performed that night pushed boundaries, including one that insinuated oral sex between the coach and the team’s star running back.

Yale University
IVY—Yale Junior Shani Malloy had the opportunity to be on the TV game show “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” this summer and her episode airs this week, The Yale Daily News reports.

Malloy said the questions were of average difficulty, but the hardest part was not telling her family and friends the outcome of her appearance, which was taped in July.

Answering a few trivia questions and chatting with Meredith Vieira during a trip to New York: that’s one sweet way to earn your tuition.

University of Chicago
ALMOST AN IVY—The astrophysics department at the University of Chicago is exploring the origins of the universe, again. Comparing computer simulations to data from deep-space telescopes, researchers are testing the “cold dark matter” hypothesis of galaxy formation, The Chicago Maroon reports. The scientific team is exploring the way dark matter collapses and attracts luminous matter to form stars and galaxies.

“Observation of distant galaxies is much like time travel into the past,” professor Andrey Kravstov said.

Now if we could really time travel into the past, I’d go back to last week and turn in my English essay on time.

Beam me up, Scotty.