By Michael Richter

The Mac Weekly sat down with senior members of the Macalester Traditions, Joe Ptacek, Jason Rodney, and Peter Truax, to discuss their concert on May 4th concert. The concert will start in JBD at 9:15 p.m.
Why is this year’s concert a traveling concert?

PT: What kind of angle are you trying to pull?

JP: We plead the fifth.

PT: Allow me to represent my colleagues in answering part of this question, what was the question, newsboy?

JP: It’s because we’re not allowed to sing in the music building. Last semester, in the early part of the year at Family Fest, we said some swear words and made some sex jokes on stage that we shouldn’t have.

PT: The details are on public record.

JP: It wasn’t just this incident alone that got us kicked out. In years past evidently there were a number of thing the Trads did that raised the ire of the music department and other people in administrative positions. We were reprimanded, but it seems a lot of these sort of reprimands were off the books, or word didn’t get passed on to those who became new trads.

JR: the harshness of the reprimanding didn’t come back to the trad meetings. Only one person felt the harshness.

PT: One could say the straw that broke the camel’s…back.

JP: Cock.

PT: I believe Joe just said back there.

JP: But the real reason it’s traveling is…because we can’t sit still.

JR: There will be rockets involved, and we’re looking into new modes of performance delivery.

What’s the best reaction you’ve ever gotten from a singing valentine?

PT: Deb Schmidt

JR: Oh my god, she received us so well. Three times this year.

JP: She received us…

JR: Also the fact that it was a sex-ed class, we walked in while someone was presenting on the female orgasm. They were showing that clip from “When Harry met Sally” where Sally fakes an orgasm in a restaurant.

JP: Then we sang “Masturbating Over You” properly

PT: Anytime we go to the Hispanic Studies department. They love us.

JP: They pay us very handsomely, but technically we don’t get paid for Valentines.

JR: What else…

JP: Last year, there was a similar incident when we came into a classroom and someone turned on an overhead projector that said ejaculation or something. Right as we entered the classroom we got into our shenanigans…and whatever, that’s enough.

As the seniors of the group, how will you pass the group on to the younger members?

PT: There’s the ritual bathing in blood, the passing of a thousand hands, the skydiving through hoops of fire through machine guns.

JP: Yeah, we have a lot of traditions in our charter that dictates what we do. That’s actually not true, I don’t know why I said that. I don’t know what the traditions are…we just kind of leave, put it in the hands of someone else. Good luck, fuckers.

PT: Ideally, the senior Trads try to create as much damage as possible to leave for the others to clean up.

JP: Yes, this is what we did to pass on our legacy, we got the Trads kicked out of the music hall. Try to one-up that, juniors.

What can we expect from your upcoming concert?

JR: There’s only one way to find out…and that’s watching it on youtube afterwards.

Why have you chosen to neglect “Aaron’s Party” from your repertoire?

PT: What? What is this?

JP: “People all around you gotta. From the left to the right…”

PT: What the hell are you getting at?

JP: It doesn’t translate well into a capella, although maybe it would. What do you guys think about doing the song?

PT: I’ve never heard it.

JP: Yes you have. “First one on the floor that’s me, busting out moves like MTV, turn around another kid broke a lamp, whoa that’s expensive we got it in France…a something clean up later, there’s a honey over there and I really want to meet her. na na na na.”

What are going to be the song highlights in this concert?

PT: We are going to perform…

JP: Some of Brahm’s work. I don’t know, we can’t really say.

PT: Songs might be sung depending on mood.

JR: …we’re giving no answers at all.

PT: Let me ask you a question, how do you react to the fact that the Mac Weekly is not going to have a budget next year?

I’m not going to be here next year.

PT: Suppose you were?

JR: What is journalism going to come to?

PT: The Mac Weekly is effectively dead, but The Trads are going to continue. Are you afraid right now?

JP: Maybe The Trads aren’t in the music hall, but at least we have a budget…

Do any of you date the Sirens?

JP: That’s not allowed. Although it’s happened.

PT: Ask Jason about his criminal history.

JP: Currently no dating. There is a former Trad who dated a current Siren.

PT: Who? Oh, they didn’t date, they just boned.

PT: May I make a threat to the Mac Weekly editors?

Yes.

PT: All right Chachkees, all right fluffos, here’s the scoop. The Trads are in town now, and we’re going to stick around for a while. So if you don’t like us, you can come down here and play our game. In the meantime, I’ll be watching you. scrutinizing your every move, sniffing in the dirt, if you will. Raking the muck of the muckrakers. How do you like it now, role reversal. I think someone’s quaking in the preverbial boot.

JP: These opinions do not reflect those of the Trads.

PT: These opinions. are what should keep you up nights.

JP: You sound like someone from the eighteen hundreds, with weird grammatical constructions. You’re like Emily Bronte.

Any last words?

JP: Cock.

JR: Peace out.