The Highland cow. A beautiful, majestic creature hailing from the Scottish Highlands. A symbol of power. They can also be very cute. In this time of mascot selection, I would like to further advocate for the noble, fluffy and undeniably Scottish, Highland cow. Now, some specific strengths. 

First, the nature of a mascot is to be a symbol. A representation, something that can be versatile for many different groups of people who are part of the same larger community. The Highland cow can be as versatile as any Big 10 mascot. It can be rugged and powerful to strike fear into the hearts of our athletic enemies. It can be cute and fluffy, welcoming new people to campus. It can also be humanoid, such as Benny the Bull, the mascot for the Chicago Bulls. It can be true to its quadrupedal nature (such as a two-person horse costume). 

The Highland Cow doesn’t take itself too seriously, just like us. I’ve heard from fellow students that a decently large factor in even considering Mac was that the admissions materials acknowledged how repetitive the handouts colleges send you can be, and instead got right to the point. We’re goofy. We’re quirky. We’re unique. We’re Macalester.

Second, branding branding BRANDING! Think of the merch! Think of the apparel! Think of the possibility of an in-house mascot!

I will now take a brief detour to tell you all about my dream: Shaw Field, repurposed. A small, yet comfortable and luxurious barn. You’re walking to your class in OLRI. You think, “Huh. What’s all this about?” And then, you see them. Standing majestically, grazing peacefully, bringing joy to all who see them: Macalester College’s very own Highland cows. Plural, because cattle are social animals, so we would need to have at least two. In my dream, their names are Mac, possibly short for MacKenzie, MacDonald, or McCartney, and Scott, who will be a walking Star Trek reference (beam me up, Scotty!).

Third, optics. By virtue of our location, we are lucky enough not to be in the middle of nowhere (where even is Northfield?). Unfortunately, this has the side effect of turning us into weirdo hippie city kids. This is not a bad thing, but it could prove beneficial to show that we don’t just subscribe to an urban way of life; we, too, can embrace a more rural way of doing things. The Highland cow represents just that: a more rural way of doing things. In America’s heartland, nothing is more indicative of a rural area than livestock, specifically cattle. Trying to blend rural and semi-urban lifestyles by distinguishing ourselves with such an icon of rurality (perhaps even by having a couple on campus) accomplishes this goal.

Now, a refutation of other mascot ideas. I will preface this section by saying that the following is all in good fun. I have infinite respect for my classmates and peers who feel differently from me about the mascot issue. With that out of the way, let us begin. To put it bluntly: All other ideas suck. Unicorn? Not real. Loch Ness Monster? Meh. MacQuack? Pathetic duck. On a more serious note, it would be difficult to make the unicorn and Loch Ness monster as versatile as other mascot ideas. Making a mythical creature into a realistic mascot is tough, but I’m sure we would take on the challenge wonderfully. As for MacQuack, I default to the idea that it’s been done before. She’s so last season, and we deserve better. We deserve something brand-spanking-new. We deserve the Highland cow.

Now, to acknowledge current events on campus. Recently, the Macalester Undergraduate Workers’ Union (MUWU) was formed, and, for their symbol, they chose the Highland cow. Some have said to me: Grant, doesn’t that make things difficult for your argument? No! If anything, this offers a new facet of success for the Highland cow as the school’s mascot. I have no interest in appropriating the union’s mascot. The way I see it, this is (a) not really an issue, and (b) a way for there to be a greater sense of unity among campus and student organizations.

In short, the Highland cow blows all other mascots out of the water. Vote Highland cow for Macalester mascot.

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