Double Stuf Oreo a.k.a The Jock

JH: This jacked-up little nugget is on the loose and has a lot to prove—namely how dang swoll those innards are, amirite? Loaded with suspiciously lactose-free creme, this biscuit is best described by his coworkers, executive superiors and gang of an exclusive six comedic mentors as ambitious. His friends depict him as cutthroat, dog-in-the-process-of-eating-dog and a little too right-wing for their dinner party conversations. Lick my butt, averagely injected chocolate patties.

AK: Not only does he have his head in the game, he knows how to bring the party. A class clown that is just the right mix of punny and inappropriate, you’re bound to see him strutting his way to the principal’s office. Classic and reliable yet outspoken and popular, he’s first in line for homecoming king. This guy has no soft spots. A bit more basic than the rest, he knows he doesn’t have to try too hard to get all of the attention.

JG: I often hear this creation referred to as the Film Noir of manufactured pastries. It’s jaded, cynical and wise-cracking. As Janes details, it’s a hard-line conservative. But there’s something about this ’50s sitcom of a road -trip snack that endears you from day one. It’s charming because of its wit and familiarity, even if it has a little too much to drink every Thursday night. Dad, I’m coming home.

KR: This little dude certainly is a mystery! He certainly is a charmer, known worldwide for his dashing good looks, but hidden behind all of this is nothing substantial. He lacks the moxie needed to fully reveal himself to the world as what he is: a lovely airhead.