By Mark Thomson

For the past two years, Willy Raedy ’13, Jesse Yourish ’13, Hank Hansen ’13, Joe Macula ’13 and Shane Levy ’13 have taken home championship t-shirts from the 3-on-3 Intramural Basketball Championships. The five men have seen their team name change from the ManCave to the ManSion to the ManTrodome over the past three years, but one thing has remained constant up to this year: winning. I recently interviewed the members of the ManTrodome and asked them about one another, last year’s championship victory, and the upcoming season. TMW: How do you guys know each other? Willy: We all lived together freshman year in the ManCave, otherwise known as Doty 1. It had that weird, creepy hallway on the right that was painted salmon. Joe: Dude, I wasn’t in the ManCave. Hank: Yeah, everybody but Joe. Joe: I was a Turck 2 refugee. Who’s the best player on the team? Hank: Willy and Jesse. Shane: You mean Jilly. Hank: Yeah, I’d have to vote for Shane as our designated three-point shooter. Joe: I agree. Willy: And Joe is our designated four-footer. But he’s taller than four feet. Willy: Yeah, I mean he shoots the four-footer. Our whole offensive strategy is to stick Joe right underneath the hoop and Shane by the three-point line. We drive and kick it to whoever’s left open. Hank: Joe’s strategy is to be Joe for the first three quarters of the game until he lulls them to sleep and they stop guarding him and he just gets open layups. What current NBA player would you compare yourselves to? Joe: No current NBA player. Hank: Is Earl Boykins still in the NBA? I love Earl Boykins. Joe is Earl Boykins. Shane: I was gonna say Ron Artest for Joe, but that’s not his name anymore. Jesse: Metta World Peace is his name. Shane: Yeah, a defensive stopper. Jesse: Shane is definitely Luke Ridnour. Willy: Steve Nash. Hank: I was going to say Kyle Korver. Shane: I’ll take Luke Walton, although that might be Joe. Jesse: No, don’t go that low. Hank: You don’t want that dude. Have some standards. Willy: Shane is the resident Lakers fan, so he gets much scorn from the rest of us. Hank: Not really, he’s just affiliated with them. Willy: Yeah, I guess. Hank: Willy would be Pau Gasol. Jesse: Yeah, definitely Pau Gasol. Willy: Screw you guys. Is that an insult? Willy: Of course that’s an insult. He plays for the Lakers. He’s the second-best player on the Lakers. Willy: Yeah, but he plays for the Lakers. Hank: Okay, Z-Bo? [Zach Randolph] Joe: Even worse! Willy: I hate the Jail Blazers. They’re the worst team ever. Jesse: Yeah, it would have to be a mash-up between Z-Bo and Pau Gasol. Willy: I’m not even a four (power forward)! Maybe a young Andris Biedrins? Hank: Yeah, that’s a good one. Jesse: But none of those guys have a good enough midrange game. That’s why I put Z-Bo there. Shane: Willy’s a mix between Pau Gasol and that really short guy that sits on the bench for the Celtics. What’s his name again? Willy: You guys are naming my least favorite players. Joe: Nate Robinson! Shane: Yeah, Willy is Nate Robinson and Pau Gasol. He plays defense like Nate Robinson. Willy: Hank is probably Chuck Hayes. Maybe Reggie Evans or DeJuan Blair. Jesse: I would have said DeJuan Blair. Willy: A nice low post rebounder, kind of undersized, but makes up for it with effort. Hank: Maybe Desagana Diop. Jesse: But isn’t he one of the best athletes in the NBA? Joe: Jesse is definitely Zach Randolph. Jesse: I’ll take Zach Randolph. You remind me of Zach Randolph. Jesse: Yeah, I’ve got the chubby cheeks. Hank: I’m thinking Hedo Turkoglu. Willy: Just anyone that will take a step-back fade-a-way jumper in your face and make it. Last year’s championship game was legendary. What happened? Willy: Suck it Edelman. Can you put it there? Suck it Matt Edelman ’13. Hank: Yeah, the other team had the Hulk in the guise of Sam Marshall ’13 there. He’s like 6’6”. He was a ringer. Is he on the actual basketball team? Yeah, he’s on both the football and basketball teams. Joe: Can I be quoted in saying that he is 7’12”? Hank: He has three arms. Willy: And I distinctly remember when we told Joe who we were playing against in the finals he said that’s the only guy that actually intimidates him in the locker room. But what happened there? Didn’t you guys only win by like one? Jesse: Yeah, it was first to 35 and they were up 34-27. Hank: And out of their 34 points I think Sam had 31 of them. I think Jacob Greenberg ’13 hit a three at some point. Willy: Maybe it was Jeff Theismann ’13. Hank: Whatever. I think it was Greenberg, though. Willy: Anyways, if they scored one more time, we were done. Jesse, who had been ice-cold the entire game, hit a big three. The Bone Collector [Hank] did his job and grabbed a few rebounds down the stretch. Hank: Yeah, I’d like to go back and propose Dennis Rodman as my alter ego. Jesse: Once you dye your hair. But who hit the game-winning shot? Willy: I did. What was their reaction? Willy: Oh, it was beautiful. I think Sam threw my ball against the wall as hard as I’ve ever seen anybody throw anything, and Greenberg collapsed on the floor. Joe: Something broke inside of Greenberg. Jesse: Yeah, for about ten seconds everyone forgot it was Intramurals. Willy: And then I screamed. Jesse: And then we got t-shirts. Hank: I wasn’t really keeping track of the score and I didn’t realize right away that we won. And then their team reacted and then I was like, “Oh, how did that happen?” Why are you guys gonna win this year? Shane: Because we always win. Jesse: I’d have to say prodigious skill. Joe: Good cheering from the bench. Hank: We’re gonna win for our player-coach Joe. Willy: Joe. Joe’s the reason we’re going to win. We do everything for Joe. Also, team breakfast is key to victory.