Aries: March 21 – April 19
You are the center of attention. All eyes are on you and this is your time to shine. So take advantage of this and finally make your move, it’s time. Change that song on the Café Mac juke.
Virgo: April 20 – May 20
You have your persuasive hat on so persuade your friends to forgo any indoor studying this weekend, or really any studying at all. Enjoy the warm weather because not even this psychic can predict how long it will last.
Taurus: May 21 – June 21
Your procrastination is spinning out of control this week. You need to reel it in and focus. It may be spring, but that doesn’t mean you can spring out of control.
Gemini: June 22 – July 22
You are able to cut through the red tape and get at what is behind your current problems. So if you are chillin’ in Weyerhaeuser, keep on cutting that tape.
Cancer: July 23 – August 22
You have been very good at keeping secrets lately, but this weekend everything is about to spill. Avoid all social settings and drunken encounters if you want to try to keep any of these diary-worthy gems of gossip from getting out. Save it for Mac Confessions.
Leo: August 23 – September 23
Summer’s on the horizon and you are feeling pressure to put your professional dreams in motion. Take a deep breath, sit on the back patio of the Happy Gnome and drink a beer instead.
Libra: September 24 – October 23
It’s time to take advantage of all the sage wisdom you have been receiving from your advisor. He or she may be old and have dated opinions, but when they tell you to email them for your registration pin, you probably should seize the advice.
Scorpio: October 24 – November 21
Be a social butterfly. Lots of people will be pulling you in a lot of directions. Spend appropriate amount of time in each, but hit them all.
Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21
You’ve been resistant to the eco-clam up to this point, but it’s finally time to take the plunge, or should I say the pearl. The earth needs you.
Capricorn: December 22 – January 19
Your wit is being tested today. People’s cynicism in the face of finals is catching up with you. You must deflect their attitudes with your natural charm and hilarity.
Aquarius: January 20 – February 19
You have been taking care of business lately. Whether it is hitting the Len Cen in anticipation of the upcoming swim suit season or negotiating with your messy roommate you have been getting your s*** done. Keep it up.
Pisces: February 20 – March 20
You are being tested soon, so be careful. It may be in stats class or it may be a drug test, but either way an important test is about to occur so keep your wits about and stay sharp.