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In an email to the student body on Wednesday, Dean of Students Jim Hoppe and MCSG President Kathy Kim ‘12 reported that the number of faculty and staff willing to volunteer for Founder’s Day has declined over the years, as many of them feel uncomfortable being around students who are too drunk. We here at The Mac Weekly have to second that statement–there’s nothing fun about being around students who don’t have control of themselves. It goes beyond just annoyance–part of the fun of intoxication is letting down social barriers a bit–and it starts to get to the point where other people’s fun gets compromised. Even worse, the safety of that person can start to become a concern, which can both ruin your night and be potentially terrifying if severe enough. (Soap dispensers seem to disappear under such conditions as well.) We’ve written editorials of this nature in the past: don’t get too drunk, keep it fun for everyone, be safe, we aren’t your dad, etc. This time around, we have a piece of concrete advice that comes to us from our hard-partying cornfield-dwelling counterparts at the Grinnel College Scarlet & Black, from a Dec. 2 staff editorial: drink more beer. Yes, you read that correctly. Replacing shots of hard liquor with beer has numerous advantages when it comes to managing your alcohol intake. Because beer has far less alcohol by volume than shots, it takes longer for intoxication to build, letting you accurately feel how drunk you really are, instead of taking shots 4–6 while waiting for the effects of shot 3 to kick in. In addition, the human stomach physically limits the amount of beer you can drink in one go, making it more likely that you’ll vomit before you get to the point of alcohol poisoning. Not an ideal solution to be sure, but it beats going to the hospital. Of course, not everyone likes or can drink beer. The solution then becomes mixed drinks, which have the same benefits as beer in volume and density with the added advantage of allowing you to be more creative in your smashing pursuits. However you chose to drink (or not drink), please do so responsibly. Know your limits, and please do your best to not destroy any plants.